Let My people go so that they may serve Me
Are you really in your 20s if you haven’t had an identity
crisis?
I related to the
sentiments in Ecclesiastes before even reading the book. Life is meaningless,
and everything is vanity. Why do we even exist and what exactly do we strive
for? I was going through a depressive state. Who was I? I barely knew my goals and I really just did not want to continue trying to do anything, to live
really. I carried a very heavy weight,
failure, regret and longing.
I failed with the opportunities I was given, I regretted not
taking chances and I longed for so much better for myself. And despite all this
longing, this strong desire, I found myself doing nothing. I didn’t try, and
the few times I did try, it wasn’t hard enough. So, what did I do? I just
pretended I didn’t care, I masked my fear of failure, the fact that I had already
rejected myself, in - you guessed it - being nonchalant. I’d just pretend I’m chill
with everything then lie on my bed and lament.
Then I read the book of Exodus. And boy oh boy this Moses
fellow had his work cut out for him. There’s one line in particular that stuck
out to me. “Let My people go, that they may serve Me,” God told Moses to tell
that to Pharaoh in Exodus 8:1 (NKJV). Some translations say “worship Me”. This
line packed a punch because it introduced me to two things I so desperately
needed: identity and purpose. I was one of those people He called (and still
does) His people. He wants me to serve and worship Him. That was it. That is my
entire purpose. The last verse in Ecclesiastes (I finally read it months later)
says it, fear the Lord and Keep His commandments, that is mans all. And this is
coming from a man who actually had everything at that time, he literally said
what he desired he did withhold from himself. Back to the point, I wasn’t the
overachiever that fell off anymore, or the wasted potential, I wasn’t the girl
that wasn’t trying hard enough, I was God’s person. I was His, put on this
earth to serve Him. Nothing more and nothing less.
Everything else will flow out of that, my desires and my goals,
they will flow out of that. And while I may not yet know what exactly my
Saviour is calling me to be, I can be content in knowing that it is Him who
will give me that identity and that identity will be centred around serving
Him. Because of this, I find myself putting a lot more effort, because God has
let me be here to do this, so I will do my best to praise Him.
That weight is gone now, Jesus took it as His own. And every
now and then, I forgot who I am but I remember what God said in His Word. And I
get an image of my Father fighting for my freedom, saying ‘Let My people go so
that they can serve Me.’
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