Let My people go so that they may serve Me

 

Are you really in your 20s if you haven’t had an identity crisis?

 I related to the sentiments in Ecclesiastes before even reading the book. Life is meaningless, and everything is vanity. Why do we even exist and what exactly do we strive for? I was going through a depressive state. Who was I? I barely knew my goals and I really just did not want to continue trying to do anything, to live really.  I carried a very heavy weight, failure, regret and longing.

I failed with the opportunities I was given, I regretted not taking chances and I longed for so much better for myself. And despite all this longing, this strong desire, I found myself doing nothing. I didn’t try, and the few times I did try, it wasn’t hard enough. So, what did I do? I just pretended I didn’t care, I masked my fear of failure, the fact that I had already rejected myself, in - you guessed it - being nonchalant. I’d just pretend I’m chill with everything then lie on my bed and lament.

Then I read the book of Exodus. And boy oh boy this Moses fellow had his work cut out for him. There’s one line in particular that stuck out to me. “Let My people go, that they may serve Me,” God told Moses to tell that to Pharaoh in Exodus 8:1 (NKJV). Some translations say “worship Me”. This line packed a punch because it introduced me to two things I so desperately needed: identity and purpose. I was one of those people He called (and still does) His people. He wants me to serve and worship Him. That was it. That is my entire purpose. The last verse in Ecclesiastes (I finally read it months later) says it, fear the Lord and Keep His commandments, that is mans all. And this is coming from a man who actually had everything at that time, he literally said what he desired he did withhold from himself. Back to the point, I wasn’t the overachiever that fell off anymore, or the wasted potential, I wasn’t the girl that wasn’t trying hard enough, I was God’s person. I was His, put on this earth to serve Him. Nothing more and nothing less.

Everything else will flow out of that, my desires and my goals, they will flow out of that. And while I may not yet know what exactly my Saviour is calling me to be, I can be content in knowing that it is Him who will give me that identity and that identity will be centred around serving Him. Because of this, I find myself putting a lot more effort, because God has let me be here to do this, so I will do my best to praise Him.

That weight is gone now, Jesus took it as His own. And every now and then, I forgot who I am but I remember what God said in His Word. And I get an image of my Father fighting for my freedom, saying ‘Let My people go so that they can serve Me.’